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J.Crew fitness

We all struggle with our body image. We have days where we think everything looks awful on us; our thighs look huge, our stomach not as toned. And we have days where we think we look amazing; our pants feel a little loose, our stomach a little smaller. Does anything really change between the days? Probably not that drastic of a change. The only thing that truly changes is our mindset. Lately I have been struggling with my body image.  I have always, as long as I can remember, struggled with the image of my body. Unfortunately I have the type of body where I need to workout and eat healthy consistently to see change or maintain.

My insecurity of my body have really been affecting my confidence lately. Three years ago I was in the best shape of my life. I felt confident and healthy. I felt good. Then I hurt my leg and I was no longer eating as healthy as I normally would. Slowly the pounds started to come on and before I knew it I was back to being at a weight I was unhappy about. I did not  feel healthy. That is what bothers me the most. It isn’t necessarily about my looks but more how I feel. I don’t care about how much I weigh, but how good I feel. Right now I feel fatigued and sluggish. I want to feel healthy again. I want have a positive outlook on my body again.

This past week I started another round of the Body Conceptions challenge. Monday I had my before picture and measurements taken. I was stunned when I saw that my measurements were back to where they were before my first challenge. All of that hard work for nothing it felt like. I was really upset about it. I feel a little defeated. I haven’t felt good about my body since and it really has been bothering me.  I went into the class feeling good about my body and the second I heard my measurements my mindset went from skinny to fat. Today I am back to loving my body and even think I look toned and healthy… nothing has changed except my outlook.

I am sharing this with you not to complain about gaining a few pounds or for you to give me reinforcement that I have a good body. It is none of that. I want to share with you my honest feelings. Struggles that I am going through. I know many of us feel the same way sometimes. It does not matter what size you are, everyone has body image issues. When I used to work in retail I heard girls in every shape and size confess an insecurity about their body. A few years ago I took a Crossfit class. In the class there was a woman who was training for the Crossfit games. A few weeks later I ran into her in the dressing room at J.Crew. She was trying on a pair of white jeans. While she looked at her completely toned, all muscular body, she let out a huge sigh and said “ugh I can’t buy these, I hate my thighs. They are too big.” Here is a woman who is in great shape complaining about her thighs being too big. Ladies (and gentlemen) even the fittest person in the room has issues with their body. You are not alone.

So what do we need to do to change this? We need to change our mindsets. I am not saying we need to give up exercising, eat whatever you want, or even to not try to loose weight. I am saying we need to appreciate our bodies for what they are and the progress you have made. I may not be at my ideal weight but I am strong and healthy. I still fit into a size 2 or 0. I am flexible and balanced. I can run a few miles. I can lift heavy to small weights. I can do a double cycling or dance cardio class. My body can do a lot of amazing things. That is what I am trying to work on– reminding myself when I am starting to freak out about my arm looking fat in a picture or my thighs looking too muscular. My body is still amazing.

What I have discovered between now and when I was the fittest, the only thing that changed was my attitude and thoughts. I am doing exactly the same thing as I was, the only difference is that I was loving my body before. Your body reacts to your thoughts. I remember when I was first on my journey to get in shape, I would watch myself lift weights or do burpees and I would think about pushing myself,  how strong and healthy I was. I appreciated my body. It made me want to eat clean and take care of myself. Now I can do the exact same exercises and I am thinking my thighs look huge or is anyone staring at my arms jiggling when I jump… no they are not. My negative mindset has me feeling unhealthy, making unhealthy eating habits and not feeling as motivated to work out. I am changing all of that right now. When a negative thought comes into my mind about my body I want to praise it with 3 positive thoughts. Does this mean I am going to stop working hard to get back into shape or not look at articles that read “get slimmer thighs in 7 days.” No, I will continue on my journey and I enjoy reading those articles. What it means is I am going to start looking at my body as a healthy tool.  I want to start loving my body again. I owe it to myself to love my body. I have worked too hard not to love it.

Thanks for letting me share my current insecurity with you today xo