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The most important relationship you will ever have it the one you have with yourself. You have to start treating yourself like you are your own best friend. This is the body god gave you, this is the life god gave you, it’s all that you have in the world that is consistent. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the comparison game or the wishful thinking of what could be or what you do not currently have. But don’t let it affect how you feel about yourself and your body. I am guilty of all of the above, as we all are. Showing self love is an everyday practice one must do. Even if it is for only 5 minutes, you owe it to yourself to express love to your mind and body. Here are 10 ways to practice self love.
1. Get Moving: Elle Woods said it best “Exercise releases endorphins. Endorphins make you happy.” I feel good about myself and my body when I physically move. If I do not workout for a few days I get grumpy and gloomy and I start to feel sluggish and tired. Exercising daily helps keep my energy levels up, makes me feel good about accomplishing a class, and helps me appreciate my body knowing that it can achieve such things. It’s also a mood booster knowing the millions of burpees you did did not kill you. When it comes to working out, it does not matter what you do as long as you love it. If you only walk a mile a day or lift heavy weights or run a marathon, as long as you are happy and moving it doesn’t matter. Exercising also helps burn calories and contributes to weight loss, which will ultimately boost your confidence because you will feel good and look great.
2. Rest Your Body: On the contrary you have to listen to your body and its needs. Right now this is something that I am working on. I have a hard time not exercising daily and giving my body a break. Doing this has caused injuries– right now I am dealing with a shoulder/collarbone issue. I can move my arm but every once in a while a sharp pain will shoot from my shoulder up to my neck. This is my top priority right now, taking care of my shoulder and my body. Not moving and resting your body is the self care you need. It shows you love yourself and your body enough to slow things down, rest. These aches and pains are your body’s signals to rest. While resting use the foam roller and therapy ball to release knots and tension in your muscles. Take the time to stretch as well. If you can, go to a physical therapist or try Cryotherapy.
3. Eat To Serve Your Body: I love to eat veggies and fruits, to eat clean, and eat lean meats, I feel my best when I do eat this way. But I also love to indulge. In a way I do the Marie Kondo method with food. Before I eat something I ask myself is this what I need– so in a way will this spark joy. Like the previous, you have to listen to your body and what it wants/needs. Last Friday I had By Chloe— the original GF burger with air baked sweet potato fries, it was what I wanted. It’s a cheat meal for me and I did not feel guilty about it at all. But lets say I eat that tonight for dinner and it was not what my body wanted, I could feel awful and sluggish. The same thing can be said about eating vegetables and fruits. Last week for a snack I ate an apple with almond butter and I felt sluggish and bloated. The apple, although healthy, was not what my body wanted. It’s all about balance and what your body needs. So try the Marie Kondo method with food– is this piece of cake really going to spark joy afterwards?
4. Pamper Yourself and Do Something Nice For Yourself: This is my favorite way to express self love, getting pampered or doing something for myself always puts me in the best mood. Go out and get a massage or a facial. Do something that will feel good. If going to a spa is out of your budget, get a $6 facial mask from Sephora or take a bubble bath. Even painting your own nails can be considered a spy treatment. Or simply just buy yourself flowers to brighten up your day. Anything that is soothing and calming you can do at home will help more than you think. Other ways to do something for yourself is to buy the damn shoes or dress already. You look amazing in it, treat yourself! If shopping is out of your budget, another way I like to treat myself is by going to the movies alone. It’s taking time for myself where no one can bother me, I am not checking my phone or worrying about work. It’s two hours of sitting in a dark theater, captivated by whatever is on screen. Pro tip: if you can go during the day on a week day, it is possible you may be the only one in the theater, which makes you feel like Daddy Warbucks.
5. Meditate: When my head is spinning with thoughts and I want to escape my body I mediate. It helps calm my mind and my body. It silences my body and stops negativity. Meditation will release the stress hormones, the tension in your body, even if it is one for 5 minutes. You may believe that your body is a reaction to your thoughts or your thoughts are a reaction to the way your body is feeling, silence those vibrations with 5-10 minutes of meditation.
6. Speak Kindly To Yourself: It is proven that when we speak to plants they live longer, so why not give yourself the same curteousy. We have all been there; days when you feel fat and you hate your body. The days when you wear a crop top to workout and as you bend over to see your stomach roll over your leggings in the mirror. Then it spirals from there– you hate your body, yours arm are too big, your stomach is soft and you have a muffin top, your thighs touch, your face looks puffy… you get the point. Instead of going down this negative spiral, try repeating a mantra in your head, something like “I love my body” or “I look amazing in this outfit”. Something to change that negative talk into something positive that will benefit you. Speak kindly to yourself all day everyday. Be as narcissistic as you like, it’s the best thing you can do for yourself.
7. The First Thing You Do in The Morning Should Make You Happy: One of the worst habits I have upon waking up is checking social media and my emails. This is something I am trying to break. First of all it does not give my mind and body time to wake up naturally. It’s up and straight to business. Being on social media will make or break your day. Is someone on another fabulous vacation while you are stuck in a blizzard? Is so and so wearing a beautiful outfit you can’t afford right now? How many baby pictures and couples can you scroll through to make you feel alone? These are things that can really set the course for our thoughts. Instead of social media browsing I am trying to make the first thing I do in the morning is watch an episode of Friends. Friends is my favorite show of all time. Even though I have seen every episode a million times it still makes me laugh and makes me happy. So putting on an episode of Friends in the morning, even if it is for only 5 minutes as I am rushing to get ready, starts my day off with laughter and happiness. I will also end my day watching Friends as a way to destress. It’s an easy, mindless thing to do. Find something to do in the morning that will set your mindset on the right path; whether it is journaling, meditating, talking to your s/o or family member, watching your favorite show, watering your plants or being mindful while brewing your coffee. Only do the things that serve you.
8. Dance: You do not have to take a dance cardio class or a ballet class, you can simply turn on music and start dancing in your own home. It is an instant mood booster. Dancing alone in your apartment, when no one is watching, will allow you to be your true self. Not only are you moving your body and releasing stress, the music itself is good for your body. When I was in 7th grade for our science fair I studied how music can affect our bodies. Country music has a calming effect, same as classical music; hip hop and pop music speeds up our heart rates. And depending on the lyrics, you usually have a deep connection with a song so the lyrics can change your thoughts and mood as well. Put on your favorite song to bust a move to and get dancing.
9. Work on Letting Go: I know this can be tough to do but letting go of the people who have hurt you or perhaps an incident that caused you to be in a bad mood. Holding onto things causes stress within your body. It doesn’t have to be a woo-woo thing like send them love. Some people don’t deserve another thought. Simply look at the silver lining on each situation. Maybe that person bumped into me as a reminder to them to slow down. Not every stressful thing that has happened during the day is happening to you. You never know what is going on in someone else’s life. Let the moments you can’t control not affect you. When it comes to relationships look at it like this: I lost that friend or that guy I really liked because they no loner serve (or deserve to be part of) where I am in life. If I were still with this guy I wouldn’t have been able to experience xyz. Start looking at what you consider loses and grudges you have been holding onto in a new light. It doesn’t mean you completely forgive and forget, it’s just training your mind to look at your part of the circumstance in a positive way. The people who have left your life (friends, relationships) it’s all to benefit you.
10. Accomplish a Goal: We all have goals we want to achieve or have on our to-do list. It can be as simple as cleaning your room. Decluttering the space around you will instantly make you feel better, and the act of crossing something off your list will instantly boost your mood. Your goal can be a bigger one like getting a promotion, traveling to a destination of your dreams, run a marathon. Do something each day that will help bring you closer to that goal. You may not completely achieve it in one day, but taking little steps, stimulating your brain, will still make you feel as if you have accomplished it.