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Yesterday was a little tough. I felt inadequate in everything I did; from my blog to working out to the way I looked to how smart I am, everything. It was even effecting my creativity to make a blog post. And when my creativity is being targeted I get even more self critical. I start having PTSD flashbacks from college when I studied dance. Every other Friday if we were working on a piece we had to show the ENTIRE department during the showcase. Entire department meaning every student and faculty member. You show your dance to them and each faculty member (and some students) critique it. It can be pretty embarrassing, even though it does give you thick skin. Anyway, everything I did yesterday felt as if I was not good enough, like a complete failure. I do not want to get into what sent me in this downward spiral, but it lead me to calling my mom to melodramatically say I want to quit everything. She pointed out that what was happening really does not effect my business, my personal life, who I am and also that as long as I am doing the best that I can it will be alright. Moms…. they know best.
The first thing that happens when I am feeling inadequate and loss of control, I do something impulsive; meaning I go shopping. It doesn’t matter what the purchase is, a new dress or chapstick. This time around, however, I am the proud new owner of these cute boots. Another reaction I have is to go all Barbra Streisand Don’t Rain On My Parade, I work harder trying to find any sliver of achievement I can get. Do you think Barbra Streisand was cut from an audition and let that set her back? NOOOOO. Barbra Streisand was cut and went back the next day to audition for another play and now she is freaking Barbra Streisand!! Winner do not give up. They let set backs and failure drive them to succeed. In the words of Oprah: “Think like a Queen. A Queen is not afraid to fall. Failure is another stepping stone to greatness.” Someone posted this quote last night on Instagram and it was exactly what I needed to read.
So what do you do when you are feeling inadequate? My impulsive need to shop is not exactly the best solution to feeling better about yourself– even though I am going to look great in my new boots! Here are a few techniques I do to turn my thoughts of inadequacy to thoughts of success.
Do Something You Love
Doing something you love will automatically make you feel better. Listen to your favorite podcast or watch your favorite TV series. Dance alone in your room to your favorite song. Read, paint, talk to someone on the phone, take a Buzzfeed quiz. Whatever you enjoy doing go do it. It may not fix the problem at hand but it will fix the way you are feeling. It gives you space from the problem; clarity to figure it out. It will get you on a high. Then you can go back and with a fresh, positive mindset and tackle whatever it is that is bringing you down.
Write 3-pages of Appreciation
I know this sounds silly and narcissistic, but the best way to start feeling good about yourself it to show yourself what you love about being you. For 3 pages write I appreciate XYZ. I suggest starting off with saying what you appreciate about yourself first. I hate my hips so I would write: I appreciate my hips. It’s sending love to the areas that need it and exemplifying areas that already have it. You will instantly start to feel so much better about yourself. After sending appreciation to yourself send it to the problem at hand. Example: I appreciate failure because it puts the drive in me to succeed. It’s taking a negative to a positive. You are turning your critical feelings and turning them around to feeling good about yourself. Even if you don’t believe it at the time. If you can’t think of anything to write start writing that you appreciate the color blue because it’s pretty or you appreciate the person who held the door for you or you appreciate the Matcha tea you had. Write down anything you appreciate and want to send appreciation to. This is an exercise that I would suggest doing daily, and don’t feel limited to 3-pages write as many as you want.
Listen to an Inspirational Podcast
This may not be everyone’s cup of tea but for me I feel better when I listen to a motivational speaker. Especially if the topic is catered around mind, emotions, meditation, LOA, etc. I need a reminder sometimes that I control my life, my thoughts. The ONLY person who was making me feel inadequate was myself. I created my own drama. Listening to someone basically slap you in the head with the truth gets me to change my thoughts. For me I listen to Jess Lively. I enjoy the way she puts things into layman’s terms. Lively, herself, is discovering and studying quantum physics and how our energy creates our reality. If that it not for you then listen to calm music or look up inspirational quotes. Anything that will give you a new hope.
Calm your mind. The only reason why I kept feeling not good enough was because I was telling myself that I am. Take a few minutes to calm the voice in your head, get clarity. Even if you meditate for 5 minutes– stop whatever it is that you are doing and sit in silence it will make a world of a difference. The only thing that is truly bringing you down is yourself. If you stop the voice, breathe, relax, you can make room for a more positive mindset.
There is nothing that can’t be fixed from a good night’s sleep. It seems stupid but it usually works. When you wake up you will feel refreshed, calm, recharged. If you can, take a nap. It’s the cliche quote– tomorrow is a brand new day. It’s a new start, a new chance, a moving forward motion you can do to get yourself back in a more positive mindset. Sleep, in my opinion, is the answer to all problems.
What techniques do you use to start feeling more positive?