This post may contain affiliated links, which means if you purchase an item I will earn commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you!

 

 

One of the many things that keeps me motivated to blog is that I know this is a place of positivity. I am talking about things, places and people who excite me, that I am passionate about. But with that being said I also started this blog to connect with people—as if we are best friends. And sometimes life isn’t always floral dresses, pink houses, and brunch photos with friends. I have bad days. Days that I cry, have panic attacks, feel sad or angry. Days that I do not feel like doing anything except watching TV.

Blogging isn’t always glamorous. It can be overwhelming and it is non-stop. For those of you who think “blogging is so easy, I want to get paid to take pictures of myself and get free stuff.” This is so far from the truth. First of all I do not take anything for free unless it is a party gift.  Second of all blogging is a full-time job. I am never not blogging…. never. I am constantly on social media, creating content, answering emails, taking photos, negotiating with brands, talking with my account manager and/or affiliate links managers. I am writing, marketing, budgeting, styling, editing, networking, photoshopping images/collages, commenting on SM, keeping my SM up to date, creating, event planning, web designing, and backend tech stuff.  I am in Facebook and Instagram groups with over 100 girls constantly commenting, asking for advice, giving advice, and so on. That itself can be overwhelming, yet very resourceful. I am grateful to be a part of it, but it can be hard to keep up with.

Blogging isn’t a 9-5 where I stop and do not look at anything after a certain hour.  It may look like from my snaps or Insta stories that I am always shopping, working out or running errands, but that is because I need a break. I start blogging around 8am and do not stop until 11pm  (I will sometimes wake up around 2am with a rush of creativity and blog for an hour). I am working on my blog all.day.long. and us bloggers do not take breaks. Even if you see a blogger on vacation in Paris or at the beachthey are working. Even days when I am not posting on social media or publishing a blog post I am working on all of the back-end stuff. Now I know this is true for most jobs. I jut want you to know that this blog isn’t easy peasy. I put A LOT of effort into it and have grown it to what it is today. I have notice more and more bloggers starting to talk about this too.

Don’t get me wrong here I am not complaining, I just want to debunk the myth that blogging is easy. It is a job, but I love every minute of it. I really do. I have never loved doing something more. I am so grateful to be doing it. But at the same time I do get overwhelmed, have creative blocks, and panic attacks. Lately I have been feeling this way. The minute I start to work on something I start to feel an anxiety attack coming on. I don’t know if this is my body’s way of telling me I need to slow down or take a break. Maybe I am avoided something that needs to be done, or am scared of moving forward. I haven’t figured it out yet. All I know is I feel anxious all of the time. I am constantly go go go go with my blog because I love it so much, but this mentality can catch up to me and makes me feel as if I am running around with my head cut off.

Last night I finally cried and I feel a lot better. I am someone who enjoys crying because to me it means I am letting out all of the frustration. The reason to shed a few tears is because I felt so worked up over everything: my life, my relationships, my health, my journey, my finances. I maybe–still in decision mode– starting a coding class here in Manhattan. The program is 15 weeks, full-time. I am currently doing a free pre-course to see if this is something I really want to do.  Last night I started to think about the 15 weeks–what will happen to my blog? How am I going to work out? What about finances– can I afford this or does this mean I will have to cut back on my social life? Should I get a part-time to work nights and weekends to get back the money I will spend on this class? Life decisions like this can be very difficult to make and I am having anxiety over it.

I have always been this way, getting worked up over something simple. When I was about 3 or 4 years old I had my first panic attack. I threw myself on the kitchen floor crying. I was worried about retirement…… yep, retirement. I didn’t think I had enough money to retire someday. I was 3, I don’t think I even owned a dollar. I must have over heard my parents talking about funds and thought I should be worried about that too. My dad picked me up off of the floor and said “lets first get you to Kindergarten and then we can talk about your retirement fund.” As funny as this story is, the point I am making is that I have always been able to worry myself into a panic attack. Something that I have been, throughout the years, working on. In a way I think it is good for me to have panic attacks because it means I need to slow down, write a do-to list, and take a much-needed R&R. When I do start to feel anxious I do these 7 things to calm me down.

Exercise

Specifically cardio. There is something about high intensity cardio that really gets out all of the built up energy inside of me. I usually feel great after a good workout and at lot calmer. If this isn’t your thing, go for a walk. I will walk aimlessly around the city, listening to music, and it is always my favorite part of the day. It calms me like no other.

Writing

For as long as I can remember writing  has always been therapeutic for me. Whether I am writing in my diary, creating a story, or even writing a school essay, it makes me feel calm. It is a way for me to spill my emotions– write things I can’t say. If I am having a bad day I will write about things that make me happy or I will write about why I am in a bad mood, just to get it off my chest. Writing soothes me.

Meditation

This is something I have recently taken interest in (see past post here)a.  Meditation has done wonders on my mental health. It allows me to take a moment to stop, relax, and clear my head. I will do this is I feel like I have too much going on in my head. Even times when I can barely sit still doing it for a minute or two clears my thoughts and helps me get organized. Even closing my eyes for a second and making sure I am breathing helps.

Watching TV

Probably not the most productive of activities to do but sometime you just need to binge watch Netflix and forget about everything else. Of course you can’t do this all of time, but sometimes it is nice to put things off for an afternoon and zone out. I will also read a book to zone out as well.

Accept Your Anxiety 

Instead of avoiding your panic attack just have it already. The more you put it off the stronger the feeling gets. Acknowledge and accept you are feeling this way. Breath deeply if you are and try to change your thought process. Ask yourself is this really that big of a deal? There is nothing that you can’t do or fail at. Take one thing at a time. Accept that your brain is telling you one thing, so switch it and tell yourself something else.  Learn to control your thoughts.

Talk to Someone

When I feel anxious I talk it out to my mom. Even just acknowledging that I am feeling this way helps me out so much. Talking to someone, having someone just listen to you will do wonders for your mentality. You are releasing whatever it is being built up inside you.

Do Something You Love

I find that when I feel anxious I do something that I love to do. Whether it is riding bikes with my dad, watching ballet dances on youtube, hanging out with my friends, playing on Pinterest, or coloring. I have started doing coloring books for adults… so much fun! Whenever you are starting to feel a panic attack happening, find something you love doing and go do it.